Daily Archives: May 11, 2012

Fat Babies, Ben Affleck, and the Demise of Loneliness

I’m feeling rather lonely tonight. Not go out and get drunk, pregnant, and Plan B kind of lonely; but rather stay in, do laundry, and contemplate all of the reasons I  am alone kind of lonely. Here are three:

1. I only go to three places everyday: work, home, and the bathroom. I may or may not throw the gas station in there when I want to satisfy my adventurous spirit. Not exactly havens for pheromone exchange.

2. My hair is too long/perfume too strong/I sing a good song/but I rhyme all wrong.

3. I am entirely unlovable.


But I try not to focus on these things. I’d much rather distract myself with Google searches of baby animals. Tonight it went something like this:

“Cute Puppies”

“Happy Puppies”

“Fat babies”

“Hot guy with babies”

***Unfortunately every “hot” guy with a baby was unacceptable. But i did find this semi-attractive bearded Ben Affleck!!!! Score?


Maybe I’ll just watch Gossip Girl.

The girl under “house arrest for the heart” (the alternate name for the Emo band she will lead if “Tears of Placenta” is off the table)