“I Got it From My Mama” – GWTB Mother’s Day Edition

This makes my mother nervous; my blogging about her. I told her it will only be mildly humiliating, to which she responded with a giggle, then a sigh, then a blank stare, then an assertion that no one reading is a God so who cares. Right.

Right.

But since I am writing this for Mother’s Day, it is probably best that I don’t do anything so offensive the she decides to revoke my dowry (what?). Instead I decided to honor my mother, by highlighting three of the personality traits she passed onto me during labor, with three of my favorite quotes.  

  1.  “She’s destroying my world.”

 – my mother, referencing Molly, our 6 pound shih tzu.

The Drama – Always too hot and never cold enough, my mother passes her time getting “seriously depressed” by driving past a Pizza Hut she had lunch at once in 1987 and speaking in long-winded, passionate diatribes before saying things like “I’m not even that upset about it.”

 

2. “She looks like she walks around with a 24/7 yeast infection.”

– my mother, referencing Cynthia Nixon from Sex and the City

The Inappropriateness – You wouldn’t know by looking at her, but my mother can out talk a sailor most days of the week. She’d never admit such a thing, but the words I have heard her use in reference to power struggles with Molly, the 6 pound shih tzu, have been so shocking, I could only reply with a gasp and a trip to the fainting chair. When you call her on such things, reminding her that her language/comments/general thought process is highly inappropriate she throws her head back and laughs joyously before muttering the phrase, “I’m only teasing.”

3.  “My God, I just want to gnaw my foot off!”

– my mother, referencing her life.

Restlessness – Beekeeper, woodcarver, guidance counselor, chocolatier, dried flower florist,   field biologist, children’s book author, lawyer, college professor. All career paths my mother has considered…in the last two years.

All in all, she’s f***ing nuts, in a way well within her control. But if she were not her, I would not be me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mama Bear!

Love,

The girl you pushed out the easiest

About thegirlwiththeblog

At any given time I can be found moisturizing my elbows and searching for words that rhyme with orange.

Posted on May 12, 2012, in Misguided attempts at holiday blogging, my effed up family and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Awwww, sweet. Kind of.

  2. The apple didn’t fall far from that tree! LOL. I met your mom at Writers Group just that once, and she didn’t let on your minds work the same way 🙂

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