Why I will Never Be A Strong, Confident, Sexy Woman
Everytime I begin to think I can be one of those strong, confident, sexy women, who can run in heels and wink without it being creepy, I do something like this:
Yes, that is a hair tie around my leg underneath my tights.
No, I don’t know how it got there.
Yes, it took my 6 hours to notice.
No, I don’t have kankles….
It’s an unflattering angle!
…No one looks good at work.
But this is proof that I will never be one of those women. Along with having hairties places they shouldn’t be (dirty!) and the inability to sit cross-legged without looking constipated, I am not self-involved enough to be put together. This is not to say that every woman who is put together is self-involved (although, come on) but rather that I am such a mess already, that it would take such grandiose effort for me to be put together, that I would be forced to abandon all other facets of my personality and focus solely on my appearance in order to achieve this. Like Kim Kardashian, or Ryan Seacrest.
I’d rather run into a knife.
The girl with knives too dull to penetrate (dirty!) (ouch) (ew)
PS: I would like to reach 200 followers by the new year. It’s the only validation I get outside of watching people fatter than me exercise. If you read this blog and do not follow it, please do.