Why I will Never Be A Strong, Confident, Sexy Woman

Everytime I begin to think I can be one of those strong, confident, sexy women, who can run in heels and wink without it being creepy, I do something like this:

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Yes, that is a hair tie around my leg underneath my tights.  

No, I don’t know how it got there.

Yes, it took my 6 hours to notice. 

No, I don’t have kankles….

It’s an unflattering angle!

No one looks good at work.

But this is proof that I will never be one of those women. Along with having hairties places they shouldn’t be (dirty!) and the inability to sit cross-legged without looking constipated, I am not self-involved enough to be put together. This is not to say that every woman who is put together is self-involved (although, come on) but rather that I am such a mess already, that it would take  such grandiose effort for me to be put together, that I would be forced to abandon all other facets of my personality and focus solely on my appearance in order to achieve this. Like Kim Kardashian, or Ryan Seacrest.

Kim-Kardashian-Ryan-Seacrest-E-News-Interview-062811-2-492x400

I’d rather run into a knife.

Love,

The girl with knives too dull to penetrate (dirty!) (ouch) (ew)

PS: I would like to reach 200 followers by the new year. It’s the only validation I get outside of watching people fatter than me exercise. If you read this blog and do not follow it, please do.

About thegirlwiththeblog

At any given time I can be found moisturizing my elbows and searching for words that rhyme with orange.

Posted on December 12, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Ah, you don’t have to do yourself up or be put together to be confident and hawt. I never do, and I’m amazing;)

  2. lindsaygreenthumbs

    Haha! But SERIOUSLY. Those two idiots have a team of stylists who make them look good FOR them.

    And for the record:
    cross your legs at the ankle = classy
    Cross your legs across the knee = trashy
    Keep it real & classy! Your blog rocks 🙂

  3. Two hundred followers! There are that many people that read blogs? I need to write more.

    And for the record, I always cross my legs at the knee, but I’m both self-involved and trashy. With a little more self love [awkward] I too could look like Kim Kardashian.

    • Well I have 193 right now, so I’m thinking it might be possible to get 200. Maybe. Possible. I don’t know.

      There is nothing awkward about self love. Unless it’s at work. Then it’s just weird. Not that I know anything about that.

  4. The hair tie picture cracked my shit up. That’s amazing.

  5. Thanks for brightening my work day! hahaha

  6. Why do you want ‘validation’ from anyone? In the comment title there is so much hidden context….

  7. I’m not sure what you are referring to when you say “comment title.” Although I don’t need validation, I like to openly admit what validates me and what doesn’t. As a writer it is validating to know that people like reading what I write, even if it is completely inconsequential like most of my blog. I think that’s what most writers want. I’m just more open and obnoxious about it 🙂

    I’m assuming the PS is what you were referring to since it’s the only time I mentioned or openly sought validation. If you were referring to something else, I’m sorry.

    • “Why I will Never Be A Strong, Confident, Sexy Woman” is what I referred to.

      Imagine if you heard someone say ‘Oh but I am so bad at…. (fill the blank). Our first reaction is to say ‘No, you are great at this’ or something along those lines. That’s covert form of seeking validation.

      Why say this? You ARE strong and confident and sexy. Do you feel this in yourself? You are a woman, and no ability to walk high heels can add to this.

      What validates you if you don’t mind me asking?

  8. Ohhh, right. I see what you’re saying and I see you’re point. But I can assure you, I am NOT one of those skinny bitches in high school who eat a carrot skin and then start complaining about being fat. That was my title because I was saying I will never fit into that cliche. I am clumsy and non coordinated, so the sexiness that appears in movies like Basic Instinct for example, is not something I am capable of. That’s all I meant. It was as non-attention seeking as anything someone with a blog entitled “THE girl with the blog” could write. haha

    And I am validated by all sorts of things. Like my typing skills and my ability to name bob Dylan’s entire discography in chronological order. But I am a human, a young and still somewhat naive one, so I do get occasional validation from things and people that I shouldn’t.

    But in all seriousness, I’m not sure how long you’ve been reading my blog, but you should know that much of my humor is self-deprecating. People who know me in real life know I am weirdly arrogant and not always justifiably.

    • Thank you for your sincerity.

      Validation can only come from one place – within. Or else we are perpetually prisoners to other people ‘opinions’ of us, and to circumstance… which is often beyond our control. Take away your typing skills… and your good memory… and your clumsiness (cute!)…. are you not YOU anymore WITHOUT those? Skills and abilities do not make true us. They are what we learn. To illustrate… your skills will mean nothing to an inhabitant of Papua New Ginea. What will then make you REAL?

      You are a good kid. Keep seeking, there is more to life than the surface.

      • “sexiness that appears in movies like Basic Instinct for example, is not something I am capable of”

        Good. This, my friend, is not sexiness, but a manipulation of the basic male drive – towards own ends, by a female. Covert, again. Lots of things take place between people without them being consciously aware of what they are doing.

        Men sleep with those… but will not love.

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