Category Archives: Sunday Night Round Up

Sunday Night Round Up #4

There are insects pitching tents in my apartment. Not in the dirty way ; though considering the vast population, probably in the dirty way too. They are setting up camp in various locations from the bathroom ceiling to the living room doorway, tormenting me with their presence, while no doubt researching rates for the increasingly popular window-front properties in my bedroom. I know deep down they don’t mean to pummel my existence, but that is just what they have done. They have pummeled my existence.

It’s been total insect anarchy since the bug on my toothbrushincident of last week. They just keep showing up and they won’t go away. There like a bunch of Occupy protestors. They accomplish nothing while making life a little more unpleasant for all who come into their company. Like last night when my bedroom was commandeered by a spider and some variation of a mosquito and I was forced to relocate to my living room for sleep, just to have my living room attacked by another spider and a stinkbug.

After several hours spent in the presence of savage wildlife I didn’t have the heart or testicles to kill, I managed to accumulate 2 hours of sleep. So today, along with my usual emotional instability, I am struggling with undiagnosed narcolepsy. I’m like Harriet Tubman, only slightly less historically relevant.

Anyway.

This week has been a gold mine of search terms used to find my blog. I invite you to feast on these 10 glorious representations of the maximum capacity of human intellectualism, that continue to fill me with great hope for the future of humanity.

Here is Our Top 10

  1. Women are bad at parking because they are always lied to about 8 inches
  2. Physical characteristics of inbred people.
  3. Girl with blond hair bob blog ß(THIS IS ME!!!!)
  4. I gave your girlfriend a dictionary
  5. How long do meth addicts live?
  6. Orangutan boobs
  7. Ted Bundy dating game
  8. Does soul mate = gold digger?
  9. Human soul pie chart
  10. Biggest rack of 2012

Frosted flake!

Love,

The girl who thinks “Cheerio!” as a farewell is SO April 2012

Sunday Night Roundup #3

I’m half Japanese. Or rather, I eat a lot of sushi. Plus I write haikus like a beast and am a bad driver.

Oh wait, that’s Chinese.

Is this politically incorrect?

“Weekly Search Term” Haiku

Cute baby rabbits

Scott Peterson psychopath

Body in Kitchen

Here is Our Top 10

  1. Puppies helping babies
  2. Unwanted impregnation literotica
  3. Motivational facial
  4. Person with two belly buttons
  5. Something bad to do to someone
  6. Cute fat Chinese babies
  7. Why do I hate twitter
  8. A really fat baby bear
  9. Pictures of inbred brothers with big ears
  10. Hawt fat chick

I really hope everyone else enjoys these as much as I do.

Love,

The girl composing unwanted impregnation literotica with a really fat baby bear, about two inbred brothers with big ears and a hawt fat chick bearing cute fat chinese babies with two belly buttons. It’s almost as good as the one about puppies helping babies who hate Twitter, to get motivational facials.What a bad thing to do to someone.

Sunday Night Roundup #2

I was asleep when I wrote yesterday’s blog entry.

There’s a very good chance I’m asleep right now.

T0 keep me awake, here’s a haiku written from three of last week’s search terms used to find my blog.

Private office girls

Immobile obese dating

Men love feminists

I know. I’m like, so deep.

Here’s our top 10:

fake butt pads

  1. Woman on toilet poo
  2. Was Charles Manson physically attractive?
  3. My boobs on display for the frat guys
  4. Where can I buy fake butt pads?
  5. Why gay marriage should never be legalized and America Rocks! The girl with the blog
  6. Reading blogs makes me feel bad about myself
  7. Man stretching belly button
  8. Central Tennessee spanking professionals
  9. How to get my sister fatter
  10. What are the features of a fetal pig?

To next week. Or whatever.

Love,

The girl who is the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull

Blog Search Terms – Sunday Night Round Up #1

Partially because they are funny, mostly because I’m lazy, I have declared Sunday the official day of “Blog Search Terms.”  If ever there was an avenue to expose the sick, degenerate, enemies of society, it would be my blog, the one place they all convene.

In honor of the first Sunday Night Roundup I give you this haiku, once again composed solely of blog search terms:

 

Fat girl on toilet

Poop in your belly button

Your lunch smells like shit

 


Good stuff.

 

Here is Our Top Ten

1. Chuck Norris fanny pack

2. Walmart boner dressing room

3. Don’t celebrate Mother’s Day

4. Webcam girls unhygienic

5. Naked girl eye chart

6. Newborn belly button pus

7. Hannah smells like poo

8. Sweatpants can make you fatter

9. Blood and pus in belly button

10. Involuntary single woman

 

I Don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty positive about the state of the world.

See you next week for another Sunday Night Roundup. And just remember, the best part of a Sunday is the free wine at church reading the girl with the blog’s blog.

Love,

The girl “missing her Victoria’s Secret sweatpants” (another search term)