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The Girl With The Blog Hiatus — Check Out My New Blog!

I’m either exceedingly arrogant or incredibly loyal, feeling the need to post a blog about my blog’s hiatus. But I’m doing this because I do feel a sense of obligation to this domain and to the reader friends I have made, so allow me to explain.

In the past month my life has endured mammoth change. I quit the job I have been having hemorrhoids over the decision to NOT write about, I moved out of my crack den apartment and temporarily back in with my mother as the able-bearded bodied man I recently began to live with and I planned a 3 month road trip around the United States.

We are leaving tomorrow.

I know I took a long time to tell you, but I’ve had good reason. This trip took a lot of planning, mostly due to the semi unconventional way we are going about it. We are WWOOFing. For those unfamiliar, WWOOF stands for World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms, which is an organization that connects travelers with farms seeking volunteers in exchange for free room,board, and meals. This took some coordination but we’ve mostly established a trip using this organization. In some places we will be sleeping on couches, in others we will be camping in someone’s yard. Can you handle the badassness?

So for this reason I am taking a hiatus from The Girl With The Blog. Not because I have stopped being a girl with a blog, but because I have become a girl with two blogs. Righteous right?

For those who have been loyal followers, fear not I will return. In the meantime, please check out my NEW blog where we hope to document the entire trip.

http://www.thisisablogaboutfarming.wordpress.com

For those of you too uninterested in my existence to check it out, no hard feelings (JK, you blow). I’ll see you in June! 🙂

Love,

The girl with a blog about farming

 

Leaving America and Not Coming Back!!!…until next weekend

I don’t have time to write this blog.

In fact, I might quit writing it altogether.

My blog is more threatening than this guy

Don’t get me wrong. I love this blog. If it could impregnate me, I’d let it. But it is becoming an uncomfortably large distraction in my daily life, like watching makeup tutorial Youtube videos by French Canadian teenagers.  Whenever I’m not blogging I’m thinking of how I should be, and whenever I am blogging I’m thinking about how no one cares. It’s an abusive cycle. My blog wears the wife-beater, I wear the beer gut.

But I don’t know how to quit, and since the severity of my narcissism has truly reached a breaking point, likely to result in either my spontaneous combustion or a strong empathy for Donald Trump, I have decided to leave the country.

All because of this blog.

Actually, I’m lying. I just needed a creative way to say I’m leaving the country and sadly for you, my mind is too tired to come up with something funnier. In TBS censorship lingo, this week has been a clusterscrew, exhausting me to the point of having nothing to write about. I briefly considered publishing a post about the insignificant things that happened this week. Like the disturbing discovery that my underwear drawer smells like peanuts or how when asked to plan a date, the best I came up with was a nude sketch class followed by a local ACLU meeting. Hawt.

But luckily for you, between starting a new job and preparing for AAA club-hopping, I haven’t had time to write that. So instead of bogging you down with further unnecessary text, I’ll just bid you farewell.

Tomorrow morning I am flying to the Dominican Republic for a week-long jaunt of volunteering and feeling guilty about being born in America. My Grandfather is organizing this trip because he is a retired minister and among the best people I know, and has gone to the Dominican to volunteer over 15 times, as well as over half the countries in the world. I wish I could be that good of a person. But alas, I have a soft spot for Britney Spears which pretty much negates any good dead I could do.

Needless to say I am going to be “disconnected” for the next week. No internet access, cell phones, or Kourtney and Kim reruns. I’ve never been to a third-world country before, but since I weep nightly while watching the news and write letters for Amnesty International, there is a very good chance I am going to have an emotional break-down. But I have been warned not to act this way, so I am going to do my best to remain the calm, cool, heartlessly self-important American Mitt Romney would want me to be.

I shall make an effort to blog about this experience in the least soul-crushing way possible. I will probably update again sometime around March 5 or 6, so check back if you want in on that cry-fest.

Until then be good people but better lovers. I don’t know what that means.

Love,

The girl whose skin burns just from the thought of her upcoming proximity to the equator.