About the Girl

Constantly intimidating others with my beauty, I pass the time by fanning myself, giggling, and eating cocoa dusted almonds. I blog for the constant reassurance that I am better than people who don’t own computers.

The combination of my debilitating arrogance and crippling self hatred has resulted in years of wearing SPF 70, cutting my hair with an X-Acto knife, and this haiku:

I’m the proud owner

of manic tears that taste like

bubblegum toothpaste


The girl who needs a real job

  1. LOVE THIS NEW BLOG…and LOVE YOU! ๐Ÿ™‚ ….Sammy and Molly does too! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. well they are really the ones I care about ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. I just found your blog the other day and now I’m a little obsessed with it. Your post on Lindsey Lohan nailed her pretty thoroughly (no pun intended); I shared it on my Facebook and those who commented were really impressed too. Just thought I’d pass that on. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. This sounds remarkably like Samantha Brick….

  5. Psh, yeah. Can’t have that bitch stealing the spotlight. Damn.

  6. i love your style of writing! it’s like listening to one of my hilarious friends over a cup of coffee. or alcohol. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • One of the best comments ever! ๐Ÿ™‚

      I had a friend who told me “I inspire him to drink” which I initially took to mean he had to drink just to deal with me. In fact, maybe that is what he meant.

      Thank you for reading, I’m glad you enjoy!!

  7. there can’t possibly be a dull day in ur presence ๐Ÿ˜› thanks ms.half-assed writer…love ur blog!

  8. I love you. Too soon? Sorry.

  9. your craziness inspires me..to laugh more, to be happy, to let loose…Thanks for that! And here’s something I wanna do in return, a nomination for the ‘very inspiring blogger’ award ๐Ÿ˜› Stay crazy!! Loads of love!

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